Appreciating Everyone's Intelligence, or not being A Snob :)

It was important that I wait for a while before I wrote again. There is one thing that has been on my mind for a very long time. The importance of understanding and acknowledging the different types of intelligences in people. As an educator I come across so many personalities, and if taken at face value, it is easy to think that there are many people out there that are unintelligent. This is a common mistake that people today make. We all have a similar capacity for intelligence; what makes us different is our ability to tap into that intelligence coupled with life experiences that manifest our level of smarts. If there is one thing that has always frustrated me is when people prematurely conclude my intelligence level based on minutia. We all have so many talents, skills and abilities and some people have these in highly valued or sought after areas while others have them in more under appreciated areas. As a teacher, I have had many students with various levels of autism and aspergers. What surprised me was how many traits I recognized in them from my own youth. I obviously was never diagnosed, although doctors thought I should be tested when I was a child, my parents insisted that it was not necessary. I could never know really, but in some ways, I see some of these traits in myself today when it comes to social situations. Sometimes I struggle, but in no way does this mean I or anyone else is unintelligent. As an adult I have had a complex of sorts where I felt I needed to get as many degrees as possible to show that I am smart, or capable. I have come to realize that I need to appreciate the fact that where my talents, skills and abilities reside, are not where many people would appreciate. The hard part is to accept that some people just do not appreciate who you are as a person, and you need to toughen up and move on. The trick is to appreciate other people for who they and what they have to offer, and learn to take life's sour lemons and make some lemonade.

But what do I know?

Learning something New

 Ever since I was a child I wanted to learn to play a string instrument. Everyone in my family has musical talents, and ways of manifesting those talents and then there was me. I started band in California in fourth grade, playing the french horn and then moved to the trombone and later percussion. Its not that I lost interest in music, its just my interests shifted as well as opportunity. I began to play sports more and more and moved away from music, but always said to myself one day it would be fun to learn a string instrument. I was after all one of those kids who loved to listen to classical music, baroque to be specific. Anyways, fast forward twenty plus years and here I am today, in my late thirties, banged up knees for sports no one remembers me for playing and thinking that its time to follow through with a dream. It didn't come that easily! A friend I had made and dated, and since lost said something that stuck in my head. "What's stopping you?" She said one day while we were sitting around talking, and I thought to myself, well maybe someday when I can afford to etc. etc. Then, not even a week ago, looking at a phrase "Just Do It!" on a poster I suddenly decided, that there is no time like RIGHT NOW. I went out and bought a viola. Yep, sure did, bought an entry level viola and some materials and in the last week I have reacquainted myself with the joys of reading music, figuring out notes and trying to learn proper bow technique. My right hurts, but my spirits are high! I have forgotten how wonderful it is to learn something new, even if I suck at it immensely.  I have a teacher lined up and I am so excited to begin learning something new. The lesson I have already learned is how wonderful it is to conquer your own fears and learn something new as an adult. I have had mixed responses from people, some think its fantastic, many others wonder if this is the beginning of a midlife crisis (its not I swear). As an educator, I love the idea of learning! I pick up things and drop them frequently, of that I am guilty, but this carries with it a lasting feeling of fulfillment and the prospect of accomplishment as I delve into a world I had forgotten while carving out of myself a new hobby. I feel sorry for those who feel they are too old to learn new things, who are afraid of failure. Failure is a part of life, it is what it is and the only way to truly fail at life is to sit on your butt because you never want to fail.

Patience is a virtue!

Patience is a virtue! How many times have we heard that. or something like it? The act of setting aside our wants for the time being, and waiting to a later date to obtain that in which we want right now. Maybe we as a people are less patient than we used to be, and so this diminished attribute can sometimes be overlooked; but we certainly acknowledge when others manifest a lack of patience. Looking back through my life I can associate every major mistake with a lack of patience. As I have grown older, I have been able to exercise patience. I certainly was not born with this attribute, as a child I was a bit of a brat, I wanted what I wanted at that time, and most of the time, I could not get my mind off of the object of my desire. I would say that there are still times when I feel the tug and pull of wants or needs but part of being a grownup is being able to wait, to hold off. I would love to share some secrets to my success but in truth, my success has come from catastrophic failure in refusing to wait until the right time. It is hard to say when the right time to do certain things is right. I do believe in the old adage "good things come to those who wait". You do not always get what you want, but in the end, I have found I am often better off or something else happens of equal value. I wish I had learned these things when I was younger, because I never waited, and often pushed rather than exercising patience, especially in my relationships. Sometimes we need consequences in order to teach us something, I certainly have learned to be patient. There are always silver linings out there to be had and sometimes when we feel we have lost an opportunity, we have in fact bolstered our character. The world is not a kind place, there will always be ups and downs, its far better to develop a sense of patience, than to react to your circumstances through negativity. Patience is indeed a virtue, and despite my failures I am becoming something much better.

Time to Think

Time, the one thing in the 21st century we all wish we had more of. How many of us are hustling and bustling from one task to another? Probably everyone! How often do we give ourselves a moment let our brains catch up with what we are doing, and what is expected of us? If there is one thing I have learned as an adult, it is the importance of self reflection and personal time. Not time to do the things that I want to do like play games or read a book; but the time to let my thoughts and feelings take center stage. I feel like this is one of the biggest challenges to our personal health in modern times. There are so many things that need to be done throughout our day and most of the time, we are leaving our poorly nourished brains unattended too which is why "in my opinion" many of us lie awake at night with restless thoughts. We have so many tasks, so many responsibilities and when it comes to dealing with the racket in our brains, most of us turn to some type of coping mechanism in order to fall asleep at night, so we can handle it. I have come to the conclusion that this is why "for me" I have had so many anxious nights, and slow mornings the next day! I have come to realize that time is not my adversary, that speeds up and slows down in order to punish me, but is my companion on a journey called life. You have heard the old adage "time heals all wounds" and more or less, to a degree many of us will nod in agreement. However, I do not think we realize how true this statement actually is. In any event in life that is painful, stressful or flat out heartbreaking time can seem like an unrelenting antagonist who punishes us over and over again allowing memories and regrets to form. However, I would argue that this is a pessimistic view on the subject. Time is our dearest friend who allows us examine our faults and successes with the help of conscience and retrospect and is that friend that makes us take an honest look at who we are and what we have done. As time progresses, like any good friend would, time helps us look at that wound, study it, and most importantly learn something from it. Time may seem unforgiving, but really time is the author of tough love and in those acute moments or even hours when we feel the worst, our wounds are being addressed by the most powerful super computer we know of, our brain. As time marches on, we figure out how to dress that wound or heartache, and perhaps even see what needs to be done differently and then our evolutionary background kicks in, allowing us to move away from the painful aspects of our heartache or mistake and in time what we have is the memory of what happened but not necessarily the pain as it was the day it happened. Back to my main point, this is why time is so crucial to us! We need to allow ourselves the time to heal, the time to contemplate what we have done, and more time to figure out how to proceed from here. Time is our truly honest friend and companion in this life to help us figure out the most complex mystery of all; who we are and what we are here to do, and we have all the time in the world to figure that out. Take some time, and think.